Vulnerability

Detail of a new painting of mine.
Working title is "Taking Place Among the Shadows"
I don't have a good full length photo of it but I think that it might be the poster child of my series about vulnerability.
I've been learning alot about art since i've been studying art history. My art is not political, avant guard, socially conscious, iconoclastic or shocking. What it represents are small fragments of the conditions of my life. Some of these are universal... I'm the kind of artist that represent the mundane in a new and interesting way. I bend the language of art to express my daily life. Sometimes I'm successful and other times, it's like a bad hair day in paint (thanks for the analogy Chip Kidd). But I'm always encouraged by my efforts and the ones who love me. I will keep digging.

touch wood

another chapter begins
going to be packing up from ladysmith and nanaimo
and heading out to victoria
where i’m going to start my fabulous new job as a book designer
quit my remedial print shop job (although it paid the bills)
leaving behind a few friends but hopefully they’ll come along too
it’s sad and reflective
and full of hope and fear
uncertainty and expectation
it’s growth

apple and rice medley

having left over dinner
in the cafeteria
alone

this doesn't faze me (okay maybe a little)
i've been here many times
at various stages in life

i know that this is forward motion
even if it feels, looks, and tastes like loneliness

i can overhear young people
talking about their young troubles
cellphones, boys, random subject class assignment
spirited monologues about the night before or the drama at so-and-s0's party
could be only one person talking for all i know

i try to participate in socializing
at least try to look up
and smile (a dead giveaway of the alone)

i don't "belong" here
i don't fit in
but i'll endure it because art study is my life blood!

Post Coital Hum

your skin glows
and velvet
grainy aura
diffuse
aura exhales nimbus cloud
from every pore
sweet smell
giddy, dizzy, complete
lazy sleep
slipping in and out
brought back by your voice

feb 09

Oil Pastel and turps on paper.
and some graphite
12" by 18"

Nurture

I’m feeling the need to return to my core.

Someone I hold in high esteem said to me that I’m an old master. There is a stillness to my work. Like the figures are posing.. The fact that my figures seem to be still is unnerving to me actually. I want my figures to have that latent energy/tension as in Michelangelo’s or Rodin’s sculpture. Studies of Rodin? Perhaps when I get proper training in contemporary or abstract art, I’ll be able to go in that direction more convincingly… or perhaps my old master methods can be applied in a contemporary way

 

I’m noticing something about myself. The more I get away from naturalism, the more I want to return to it.

 

I’m also experience a return to myself brought on by circumstantial solitude. I went for a walk on the seawall last night and watched the Gabriola ferry come into port. I felt like Pete again… or refreshed or nourished or something. Standing there, leaning on the railing, I thought about how blessed I am. I thought about the friends that I walked here two summer’s ago. I had a lot of fun going for my weekly walks with my dancer friend. Summer afternoon walks with my best friend. Enchanted my sweetheart here. I thought about how great it is to be here on the island and not desperately alone in Brandon. My life has changed so much in these past few years… i can hardly keep up. My heart gets so full at times.

“My good heart”.

 

Art History thoughts

In my art history night class we are learning about the High Renaissance. I've never really been all that into Renaissance art simply because it seems to decadent. This distaste is probably more attributed to the complex and intellectual visual language being used. I'm naturally more attracted to expressionism. Simpler images with more psychological impact.
But when my prof showed us the slide of Michelangelo's "David" I was blown away. At first glance, I was blaze... another beautiful male nude yap yap... but look at the building tension in his muscles (hmmm) notice the weight shift to the one leg (ahh) look at the furrowed brow on our biblical hero (maybe not so confident, concerned to saythe least) look at the veins in his hands (marble is given flesh-like qualities, holy crap). And the coolest thing is that David implies Goliath. You are expecting to see this huge 40 ft man in armour down the hall or something. Quite a revelation.



It was good to hear a non-sinister explanation of the Mona Lisa too. Although I gotta say that Leonardo is kind of a charletan! An artist doesn't just come up with ideas (albeit ideas of the genius variety) but also sees the work through to completion. Not finishing it and saying that you lack the ability to complete is just letting yourself off the hook! If this were true or absolute, no art would ever get made. You are a master today. Today is the only day your work gets done. Oversimplified? Yes. Perhaps this is because my art unfolds through trial and error and lots of perserverance so I can relate more to Michelangelo more than Leonardo. Maybe this is observation is telling me that I need more inspired ideas... or that my art lacks that spark... but has all the perserverance of a glacier.



Is my art boring?
Yikes!
I'm going to go crawl under my table and hide now.

Ebb and Flow

the final piece.
a mere dabble in the world of abstraction.
decent success... perhaps later on i'll be able to revisit.

for now, i'm knee deep in colour study for my night class... work in progress



oil pastels: bright luminous colour caused by the complementary shading technique?
adding green for shadows to a red blocking in of colour (in the case of an apple). creates interesting greys and browns. accentuate with colour echoes from the surrounding objects, a little blue in the deepest/most receding part of the forms. playful use of green and blues.
van gogh, cezanne
warm and cool modelling of form...
should be an interesting symester.

The Pain of Growth

Growing pains.
The idea that your old habits and thoughts no longer fit into who you are now or who you've become. The lament for your older self: you're brighter, more energetic, everyone loves you self. The self with a light hearted happy go lucky sense of possibility.
But our memory fails us... time and time again. Always thinking that the past was always more fun and easy. It was just as hard then as it is now.
That's the paradox that we all must face. The tragic comedy of life.
If you're not growing however, you must be dieing. And which is worse? Which is better?
Hopefully, you can say to yourself with truth and clarity that you've found happiness and laughed and loved... even for a short while.

On hold

Looks like I'll have to put the Tides series on hold for awhile. Taking a few night classes at VIU in drawing and art history = not a lot of extra time to squeeze in some art making. I guess we'll see... but for now au revoir.

Drift

Drift
48" by 36"
Oil and oil stick on canvas.

Floating in the current... belly to the sky. Flow and swirling deep down. Flittering and twittering above... electric sky, rays of sun. Receding into the surf. Reflecting. Potential energy.

Can't wait to see what happens next.